What Was and What Can Be
by BlueHorizen48
Summary: Shin Akiyama was a genius prodigy destined to become a great shinobi, but he is unable to give up his pride and pushes everyone who cared about him away. What happens when the Kyuubi attack leaves him crippled and alone? Will he find redemption in the form of a young Naruto Uzumaki who desperately needs a mentor and a father? "Only when you lose everything you can become anything."


**What Was and What Can Be**

_A Broken Man_

_Italics: Internal Thoughts/Emphasis/Written_

**Bold: Author's Note**

Underlined Bold: Start of Chapter or shift in scenery

Underlined Italics: Start of Flashback/End of Flashback

**Summary**: Shin Akiyama was a genius prodigy who was destined for greatness, but his pride and arrogance pushed everyone who cared about him away. What happens when fate takes his career away and sticks him with a certain young blonde knuckle-headed ninja with nobody in the world to care for him?

**Chapter One**

"_It's only after we lose everything that we can become anything."_

—_Tyler_ _Durden, Fight Club 1999_

_Shin, our graduate class is holding a little get together at the bar by the training grounds. Kurenai wants to see you again, she worries about you since the last time she saw you were in the hospital. If you aren't interested in talking to the rest of us I understand but you mean something to her and I want you two to make it right._

_Asuma Sarutobi_

Shin tossed the small letter into a garbage bin. He found it ironic that his classmates were trying to pity him after years of him calling them dead weight.

It was ironic that he couldn't even read the letter without his left hand shaking like a leaf in the middle of a typhoon.

Ironic that he was the helpless weak civilian after bragging about his natural talent and abilities to them.

He was sure that Kurenai wanted him to be as far away from that gathering as humanly possible and Asuma Sarutobi, the _rebound_ guy, was trying to flaunt his superiority by walking out his defeated rival in love in front of Kurenai to show off the broken mess of a man he was.

He was right of course.

He was once the pride and joy of his family, he was now an embarrassing cripple who was disowned for weakness.

When he once was the prized pupil of Fugaku Uchiha and the future hero of Konoha, he was now just an anonymous face who lived by collecting disability checks and privately tutoring brats on the basic principles of being a shinobi.

Or did they choose to invite him because they felt bad that he was buried alive in the remains of his house for three days after the Kyuubi trampled it, along with everything else he owned?

Yes he was _quite _broken.

It didn't matter now: everyone moved on with their lives, why shouldn't he? He would never go on missions again, he would never perform jutsu again, and he would never have _use_ again.

The only place in the world for a broken tool is the garbage.

His current apartment was about the human equivalent of that. It was probably one of the worst places in the entire village and his particular apartment had almost no value attached which made it the _only_ place he could afford to live without being in the slums which still had Kyuubi footprints yet to be fixed.

Shin ran a shaky hand through his long black hair, he should have died. What point was there continuing on as a cripple? He lived in a shinobi village for Kami's sake! A place meant for the strongest of the strong, yet he lived to be a _burden_.

When he looked in the mirror he didn't even recognize the baby blue eyes that looked back at him.

His train of thought was broken by a soft knock on the door.

He stood up and gripped his cane with his steady hand and walked to his door and cracked it open only to be met with a small boy with blonde hair and blue eyes who looked like he was about ready to _puke_.

"I—I'm sorry mister, but my belly hurts and I don't know why, can you help me—if that isn't too much trouble."

"Ask your parents, they're probably more qualified than me."

"What?"

"Kid, where are your parents?"

"Old Man Hokage said that my parents died in the Kyuubi attack, but that they loved me lots—"

Shin sighed, for being in the gutter and looking like he was half about to puke on his front porch the kid had a lot of extra energy and a hell of an imagination if he thought that the Hokage told a five year old about his parents.

"Come on in, if you're gonna puke then do it in the toilet which is the only other room in this place."

His appartment was about as compact as it got with a small kitchen area that was infused with a living room which doubled as a bedroom with the hardest spring lock bed—which felt like _hell_ with his mangled leg and arm which already had shot nerves—and the bathroom was the only other room in the whole space.

The boy darted to the restroom at a speed that would make the Yondaime blush and immediately began to hurl.

Shin supposed that the best thing to do would be to get the boy water so he can stay hydrated and not have the taste of vomit in his mouth.

He limped over to the tap and turned the handle all the way to _'cold' _and it took a solid five seconds for the faucet to run. "_Everything in here is broken_."

Eventually the retching and vomiting stopped, giving Shin the opening that he needed to ask questions. "Kid, where exactly do you live? It's usually not the best place to ask for help with around here."

"N—Next door, BLAH!"

Oh, _great_, a _five year _old was able to own a similar sized apartment. Was that why it costed so little because you lived next door to a literal child?

He cracked open the door and handed the boy the glass of water while leaning his weight against the frame to avoid face planting right next to the kid.

"Swish first and spit and then you can drink."

The boy did as told and turned his head from the bowl to meet Shin's eyes. "Why 're you beein' nice to me? Nobody has been nice to me before."

Nice? All he did was make sure the kid didn't blow chunks on his front porch. The boy probably didn't receive any type of encouragement if he was an orphan living alone at _five_.

While he was almost a Genin at five he had a father whipping his ass the entire time so he would be the best of the best, this boy seemingly had _nobody_.

"I have no reason not to."

He wasn't an emotionally sappy type. Shin mostly expressed his emotions through bursts of extreme rage with the gnawing urgency to get the last word in during heated arguements. Pissing people off was his speciality and he was fine with it if it meant that they would stay away from him.

Though now he did it for different reasons than when he was a kid.

Shin came up to the boy's frail form and slipped his shaky hand down to feel the boy's forehead.

"You have a fever. Do you feel like you can make it to my bed?"

The boy flushed the toilet and gave a small nod before rising from his knees and weakly stumbling out past Shin and the door way.

Shin limped over and grabbed his small trash bin and handed it to the boy who was now lying down on his bed while holding them tightly against his small body.

"What's your name kid?"

"N-Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage, believe it."

That name was familiar, where had Shin heard of a Naruto Uzumaki? It didn't matter right now he had to find out what was up with the kid and he _really_ didn't want to have to drag the brat to the hospital.

"Did you eat anything past expiration or rotten?"

"What does 'x pear ation mean?"

Oh, right he was talking to a five year old with no parents. He was glad that he managed to hold the snarky remark he would make to someone who wasn't a sick kid.

He decided it would be easier to show Naruto what he meant so he went into his kitchen and grabbed a cupped ramen and limped back next to his bed side and held the digits out to him.

"What do those shapes mean? And is that ramen? Gimmie!"

Naruto snatched the cup out of his hands and held it close as if it was a teddy bear.

He sighed, who the hell decided a kid could live on his own like this?

"Those are numbers, Naruto, similar to letters but different."

"Huh?"

Shin punched his nose while shifting his weight onto his cane. He was _really_ bad with kids, ignorance was something that triggered his rage, but he had to mellow himself out before he said something he would regret.

He was an asshole, and he was fine with being an asshole because after his _injury _it wasn't like he had the ability to express his emotions physically so he decided to cut the filter on his tongue loose and let whatever he was thinking out into the world.

But that didn't make him a monster.

He wouldn't lash out...not on a sick kid with nobody to turn to.

Shin held up one finger, "How many fingers am I holding up?" the boy blinked at him. "One!"

Well at least the boy knew the concept of numbers...

"So those shapes right there on the label are how people write down numbers without using the word. Those numbers tell you which day of the year that the food is no good."

It was safe to assume the boy had food poisoning if he had no clue what and expiration date was. It was better than some type of stomach bug that he would probably catch.

"Why do you use that stick thingy, I thought that was for old people like Old Man Hokage, but you don't look old mister!"

That was probably the most unintenonally backhanded compliment he ever heard.

It was as if just thinking about it made his hand shake more than usual and the pain in his leg began to burn...

"I was hurt...I can't walk without the cane anymore...I need to go outside for a little bit."

The boy's blue eyes snapped open, "Don't leave mister, I'm sorry!" he tried to sit up but Shin did as good as he could to give the boy the a reassuring smile he could.

"I'll be back, and if you don't throw up before I get back then I'll make you that cup of ramen, is that fine?"

Naruto nodded and gave a smile, "Thank you!" tears spilled down his cheeks. "You're so nice to me...I don't care that you're hurt, you're still awesome, believe it!"

He felt a strange tug on his heart...what was this feeling?

Shin stepped onto the small balcony that overlooked an empty ally and collapsed into the small chair he had put back and brought his shaky hand to his forehead as beads of sweat cascaded down his forehead and the memories came back...

_Flashback_

_Five Years Ago_

"AUUGH!" Shin screamed with what little oxygen remained entrapped under the remains of his home.

His arm was completely pinned down by a beam of wood that once supported everything he owned.

The only reason he knew it was still stuck to his body was the extreme pain he felt when he tried to move his shoulder.

He _could _get out, he just had to keep trying...

It had been two days since his entire home and the hundreds of thousands of ryo's had collapsed on top of him in silence as a giant roar muted the destruction.

Was there an invasion?

No invading forces didn't roar like a demon from the depths of hell.

In his time during the war not even the fiercest of artilery could come close to the sound that he half expected to have shattered his eardrum.

Was anyone looking for him?

Shin tried to adjust his leg only for a hot searing pain to shoot up his leg.

He could feel his own blood pooled down by his foot, warmed by his body temperature. The smell of it was driving him half insane.

His own blood wouldn't be the last thing he ever smelled...it wouldn't.

He wanted his last sensation to be fresh air

In his entire life Shin had taken for granted the smell of clean fresh air.

Even on the front lines he didn't appreciate how fantastic it was just to inhale fresh air and then to exhale once more.

Now that it was gone he wanted it more than anything...

How many men that fought beside him that died knew when was his last breath would be? Did they get to appreciate the sensation of life being pushed through their body one more time, or did they take it for granted?

Shin enjoyed every breath like it could be his last until he drifted off into dreams of seeing sunlight once more...with his teammates alongside him as he begged Kurenai to forgive him...

Those were only dreams...right?

_Flashback End_

Shin could remember the taste of the hospital slip he ate when he awoke in the hospital after being pulled from the wreckage of his home...

It was _amazing_.

His first drink of water was a cooling wave of joy that breathed new life into his broken body.

But what he would never forget was his first breath when he woke up again...

It was a broken sob in an empty hospital room.

He would never admit that to a single living soul if he was asked...

There was no point in dwelling...he had use. To Naruto. For the moment at least...

Maybe he was a little less broken than he thought.

When he came back inside he was treated with Naruto looking at him with some weird awe...wasn't he sick? And where did he expect him to leave to? He was on a balcony for no more than five minutes.

"You seem like you feel a bit better."

"My body is awesome, believe it!"

He promised the kid that he would make ramen and it doesn't seem like he puked. But he had to test something first...

"Can you read the front of the cup to me?"

"It says ra-uh, ramen!"

While the container did say Ramen the boy didn't understand the branding or the flavoring on the front of the package.

It was obvious that he couldn't read.

He reached his hand out and Naruto gave him the cup and he walked into the kitchen.

"You don't know how to read, do you?"

It was a statement, but he decided to phrase it as a question.

He kept eye contact from the space in between his kitchen and living room. Naruto flinched before nodding, he obviously didn't want to seem weak in front of him.

"Didn't they teach you how to at the orphanage?"

Naruto scowled when he mentioned the orphanage, "They kicked me out and never taught me nothin'!" Shin allowed himself a small frown, what was so different about this boy that he was kicked out of the orphanage?

He seemed energetic and cried over him making a small cup of ramen for him. Even his weary heart felt _something _when the boy praised him.

Naruto Uzumaki was a strange kid and Shin felt like this wouldn't be the last time they would meet...

**End of Chapter**

Hello everyone! This story will explore the themes of repentance and accepting the hand dealt by fate.

This story will span the series of Naruto but since Shin is no longer able to be a shinobi I will focus on the event's of the world through his eyes and most of the fighting will be shown in Flashbacks.

If you have any suggestions then go ahead and leave me a review. I read them all and hope to start a review response section so I can reply to as many thoughts as possible.

Don't be afraid of criticism but I would appreciate it if you make it constructive so I can use it to better my writing rather than being an asshole.

Shin is the asshole, not you guys.


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